A New Start...

So...

The last time you heard from me I was engaged, living with my fiancée, planning a wedding and complaining about being asked when we were going to have kids. A lot has changed for me since then, some good and some bad.

The last six months have been a roller coaster of emotions for me. I had been wrestling with some personal demons and it all peaked for me in July (had been going on for a while before then, not entirely sure when it started) and then me and my fiancée broke up in August. It's not something I'm going to go into right now, I may do at a later date but I'm not sure yet.

So at 25 I moved back in with my parents, I love being back home (although sometimes feel like I get a bit in the way, mainly with how much stuff I have haha) but I'm hoping to get my own place within the next year or two. I know I want to move away, not entirely sure where to or even how far away but it's something I'm looking into.

I started my own business, selling Younique cosmetics and skin care products, it's going remarkably well, better than I could have imagined and I can't wait to see where I am in just a year with it! Through it I have met some amazing and inspirational people and I can't wait to spend more time with them all. My confidence has grown tenfold and I now wear make-up daily and am dressing a lot nicer.

My weight has increased, I was doing very well with my weight loss and Slimming World but have lost my way with it. I am still going to the meetings, I fear that if I stopped completely then my weight would just balloon and I'd lose interest completely. Currently it doesn't bother me too much that I have put weight on but I don't want to get much bigger really.

As can be expected when going through a big life change I go through periods of heightened emotions, both good and bad. Most days are good but I still get really bad days, days when all I want to do is lock myself away and sleep. I feel that I am a lot more emotional now, I certainly cry more which is not a bad thing.

The last week has been very hard. We had some bad news in the family last Tuesday and since then my head has just been a wreck. It's brought a lot of bad memories and thoughts to the surface for me and through that I've had a lot to think about.

I think going through stuff like that does that to you though, makes you re-evaluate, consider where you are in your life and what things you really want in the future. It certainly has with me. Spent a lot of time thinking about the future and what I want for myself, it's scary and exciting having no idea where you're life might be in a year or two. Plus I'm an over thinker which never helps!

Anyway, bit of a long post but a lot to cover! Thanks for reading!

xXx

Everyone is having babies!

Hello!

So I'm currently at an exciting stage in my life, I'm planning a very big day, our wedding! But everyone I speak to seems to be asking me when we're going to start having kids, which bugs me a little. I'm only 24 and most of my friends are a similar age, I have three close friends who are all already married and have all started having kids. 

One has a little girl who is around a year and 5 months now and she is trying for her second baby, another has a little girls who is now around 3 months and the last is pregnant (after trying for almost a year) and is about 12 weeks into her pregnancy.

That's great for them, they're all happy and it's where they want to be in their lives. Me and my fiancée have done things a bit later than all of our friends (like moving out, getting engaged, getting married, etc.) for various reasons. He went to university straight from college and then managed to get a job almost as soon as he left, we then saved for a few years before buying our house which is why we've ended up doing things later. But life isn't a competition, you do things in your life when the time is right for you.

Now I'm not saying that I think you should be married before you have kids, things are very different now than what they were like even 20/30 years ago and most couples are having kids without even considering getting married, so long as they're in a loving and happy home that's all that matters. But as we are now planning our wedding we want to have that first before we even think about having kids!

For us at the moment we're just not ready to be parents yet. We know how big of a change it makes to your life, financially, emotionally and you're relied on by this little person who is completely helpless without you. We definitely want kids, just not anytime soon, there is so much we want to do before embarking on that adventure! 

We have the house and garden to finish, the wedding to pay for (and enjoy), holidays away in our caravan (we got it later last year and have only been able to use it once so far!) and just generally enjoying spending time together as a couple before we become a family. We've also talked about it and as long as we're financially able then, when we do have kids, I will be finishing work to be a stay at home parent. Currently I absolutely love my job and I'm not quite ready to give it up just yet!

xXx

A little bit about me and an introduction to this blog!

Hello all!

I'm Jess and welcome to my blog! I don't know if this will be of any interest to anyone but it's something I've always wanted to do and have decided yo just go for it! Writing is something that has always interested me but I've never been very good at it so I hope this isn't to bad!!! So I thought as an introduction I'd tell you a bit about myself (hopefully without too much rambling!) and just take it from there.

I am 24, work full-time with my father; me and my partner have been together for almost 9 years and recently (9 months ago) got engaged and so we're currently planning our wedding, so I will be posting updates on that. We moved into our first home almost 2 years ago, unfortunately there is still a lot to do in the house so I'll be posting about the house and garden.

I am also doing Slimming World and am getting close to my target so you can expect updates on that and soon will be going through all my clothes and replacing them with a new wardrobe (obviously a little bit at a time!) so there will be posts about clothes, make up, hauls etc. too.

I think that seems like enough for an introduction, thank you for reading and if you have any questions, leave them in the comments below!

xXx