Tuesday, 15 December 2015

The Thought of Dating...

As you know I recently became single (about four months ago now), I had been with my ex for 9 years, we get together when we were 16. My dating experience before I started seeing him doesn't really have much to it. A couple of bad dates, some guys who were just like friends as opposed to a boyfriend, one nasty guy who I don't want to remember in a hurry and then one guy who I saw for a few months. I liked the guy and can't really remember the reason for breaking things off (it was a long time ago) but I got my friend to do it for me and to this day I regret the way it happened. He was a nice guy and he didn't deserve it at all, but I was young and naive and know a lot better now, not that that excuses what I did.

Anyway, it occurred to me that (unless I want to just grow old with loads of pets and become a crazy dog lady) eventually I'd have to go out to meet guys and go on actual dates...

Now I'm a very social person, I frequently attend Comic Conventions and meet loads of new people, making friends very easily and even going out with them for food or drinks afterwards. But that's a whole different kettle of fish! If I'm around someone I find attractive (unless I'm already pretty comfortable with them) then I become very nervous, completely aware of myself, I fidget, have to be doing something with my hands, picking at a beer bottle or faffing with a napkin. I'm an over thinker and my mind goes a bit mad!

I've also never actually been asked on a "proper" first date. Like, going out for a meal or drinks and talking to just each other, discovering who this person is and whether they are compatible enough with you to want to spend more time with them.

The whole ordeal, to me, seems to be a mass of excitement, awkwardness and terror rolled into one, although more of the latter two! The build up to it, I imagine, is just spending a lot of time worrying! What will they be like? Will we have anything to talk about? What if I can't find anything to wear? Will I be my usual clumsy self and spill something/trip over/etc. like I have a tenancy to do?

In truth, it really scares me, it's possible that once I've had a date or two I may feel differently but until then it's just the unknown... maybe I'd be better off with just the dogs...


No comments:

Post a Comment